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Friday, August 18, 2006 

Getting iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin?

I feel... flat. I'm not sure whether I'm relieved, or miserable, or ecstatic. Somewhere verging on all of them, if that's at all possible.

So yesterday I woke up. Looked at the clock, six thirty am. Hmmmm. So that's... what? Five thirty English time, and results come out at eight thirty GMT, nine thirty here... So three hours. Well, three and a half by the time my dad gets in, gets the results, then finds a phone. Bugger.

Nine o clock (GMT) finds me on the edge of my seat, small bowl of cocoa pops (or whatever they've changed their name to now) in front of me untouched, and another bowl beside that which I am using to feed the baby some sort of cream coloured mush. Cue phone ringing. Drop spoon, push bowl out of reach of grabbing hands of baby, sprint towards phone on counter, pick up.

"Hallo?"

"Hi Harriet, I've got your results here, I don't know what they mean!" Panicked voice of father comes through the receiver. "I can't make head or tail of them! Advanced GCSE grade B? What does it mean??"

"Dad! I'm not taking GCSE's! Are you sure you've got the right sheet there?"

Angry as well as panicked now, "I don't know! It must be this other one. Erm... Biology U, D. Chemistry- D, C. Which one is it??"

"U???? I got an Ungraded in Biology??? Aaaaaaaaaagh! Find a teacher, find someone, anyone, get them to translate! A UUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Okay, I'm going, Bye."

Ungraded. Shit. Thats pretty awful even for me. I expected to just miss the grades, not fail so badly I didn't even get a passing grade.

Phone rings five minutes later. "Okay, Harriet. You've got... a D in physics, a C in Biology, and a C in Chemistry."

Tense, "a C in Chemistry, its definitely a C in Chemistry??"

"Well, according to this anyway. Three hundred and sixty points is a C. Whatever that means."

"Dad! I got iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed the C! I got iiiiiiiiiiiin!!!!!!!!!!!"

So, as of the twenty ninth of september, I am a uni student. I did crap, but I got into uni! With practically no work whatsoever. Maybe I should develop some kind of work ethic soon. Yup. Definitely. Very soon. But who cares right now, cos I got iiiiiiiiiiiiin!

Now all I need to do is not die at university. Oh, and maybe not drop out either. Thats pretty important too. But, at least it gives me another month of free time where I can sit back, relax, and smugly know that for a while at least, I don't really have to do that much. Thats what I call happiness.

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Hats off!

What you will need at Uni.

Little round John Lennon style glasses, for peering contemptuously at townies with.
Amusing spliff-related poster for your bedroom wall.
Bob Marley poster for same.
Credit card, for buying rounds in busy city centre pubs.
Half-hearted conversion to vegetarianism. Except chicken. And bacon sandwiches. And spag bol.
A liking for a diet of Pot noodles and brown rice.
Set of tiresome, half-baked political opinions to whine on about all the time. (You can keep these after you leave if you like)
Lots of condoms.


What you won't need

Your embarrassing music collection. (it isn't now, but it will be soon)
That work ethic thing. You can get by with even less work.
Your ex-boyfriend.
Your non-student friends. (If you don't dump them, they'll only dump you when they get sick of you telling them how "amaaaay-zing" Uni and your Uni friends are)




Seriously though, well done.

Congratulations Hatty!

I was sitting on the edge of my seat reading your post.

Bless your Dad. Making they should give parents a lesson in translating results sheets!

And as the Colonel says - dont fret too much about that work ethic rot - I scraped into uni on very poor A-level grades - and got a degree on alcohol and rock music alone.

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  • An albatross can fly for thousands of miles without getting tired. I've always thought that love is similar to flying, therefore we should aspire to be like the albatross.

    I don't know if I can do that. So far I haven't been so lucky. But one day I'll test my wings with someone, and flying won't be so hard after all. Or so painful.
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