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Wednesday, July 26, 2006 

He said she said

He said:
Yeah, I get leave in two and a half weeks. When will you be back?

She said: I don't know- I haven't booked yet. Sometime around the 26th.

He said:
Well we should go out sometime when you get back. I need to catch up on some serious drinking.

She said: lol me too. This trip has put a serious dent in my plans to become an alcoholic good for nothing.

He said: I know, I haven't been drunk in nearly seven weeks! If I get drunk I can be kicked out! Think I'll enjoy getting drunk with you again, it usually ended quite well : )

To which, in the end, there was simply no way for me to reply. I'm a drama queen and an outspoken idiot, but I'm not good at showing my actual feelings. I guess I'm the female equivalent of those macho fools who keep their emotions locked in a box never letting anything show. And anyway, I'm not sure how to slap someone across the face by text.

Assuming that "ended quite well," means sex rather than falling over drunk a lot and laughing at each other, I have to wonder when "going out" was equated with sex. I'm also quite curious as to whether I even agreed that I would go out sometime with him. I don't think there's a "yes" in there anywhere. Though I can't really object that much to that one considering there was definite room for improvement in the clarity of my refusal. Personally I think I just avoided answering the question directly in order to leave my options open, and avoid conflict.

But the assumption that I will sleep with him is barely veiled, if at all. And that makes me wonder. What exactly does he want? Actually, that's a stupid question. I know exactly what he wants. But what? I'm just expected to sleep with him? Like there's just no chance of me rejecting him. I can reject him! I did it once (though only once and it ended up making me much more miserable than him) and I can do it again. Definitely.

I don't know why on earth this bothers me. The casual assumption that I will sleep with him whenever he wishes is irritating, but not entirely new. In fact, it's pretty much the story of the last six months. Or so. It's slightly more irritating now because we aren't together, and until now he hasn't actually said anything so completely impossible to ignore. "Going out sometime," is so easy to take the wrong way. You can debate whether it means "date" or "friendly gathering," for hours. But I know how everything ended with us; that isn't so easy to debate.

Basically he's a twat. I'm easier than I should be, but I'm not going to sleep with someone purely on their whims. I'll admit, I'd love to on a purely... animalistic(?) level. But letting him walk all over me isn't fair trade for an orgasm.

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Just be a twat back ;) He might walk away, but it doesn't sound like that would be much of a big loss anyways :p

And where I'm from, "going out" almost always was the same as sex. That have changed since I left the country and began to move around the globe instead of around town.

Follow your guts (the twat one) and don't do anything you don't want to do :hugs:

You can get Fair Trade orgasms?

I've not seen those on the shelf at Sainsburys!

Hmm... to reduce the levity of this comment, I think my response can be best fitted to the song 'Can't hold us down' by Christina Aguilera.

Why do we feel so awful because we have sex with a friend? Don't we have feelings too?

I would personally be most happy having sex with a friend, and have done so. But you feel so awful cos he only wanted sex.

But then again so did I..

Only thing acceptable in society I find (especially as mine is of the Catholic school variety) is to acquire extremely clingy boyfriend who you don't even get on with that well anyway.

Wow. It's enough to make me a die-hard feminist.

So are you an animal (?) or are you refined and educated in what is right and wrong in society?

Good luck xx

I don't have any problem with sex with friends as long as it is stipulated before hand whether it means anything or not. He isn't exactly a friend though, more an ex who I don't hate yet.

And yes, "going out" does equal sex, I was just being deliberately naive and employing a little too much wishful thinking.


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  • An albatross can fly for thousands of miles without getting tired. I've always thought that love is similar to flying, therefore we should aspire to be like the albatross.

    I don't know if I can do that. So far I haven't been so lucky. But one day I'll test my wings with someone, and flying won't be so hard after all. Or so painful.
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