Ode to albatrosses

I wish it was always summer. I wish I had an olive tree in my back garden and that I could walk around in cropped dungarees all day with my hair loosely tied back without my sister making a complaint that my hair looks better down and that dungarees aren't clothing; they're just ugly. I wish I could sing along to every song without looking over my shoulder to check that there wasn't someone there who would complain about the noise. I wish I could spend my day writing and my nights drinking wine. I wish that a good book would last forever and that the sea was always deep, clear and warm.

I wish that I didn't care what people thought. I wish that when people said that he was ugly I didn't wince. I wish that when I stay in on a Saturday night I wouldn't get drunken phone calls, texts saying the word "evil" repeatedly, and people taking umbridge about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for some completely inexplicable reason. I don't mind the drunken phone calls really, they can be annoying if I happen to be asleep at the time, but otherwise they're pretty amusing. I wish that people had no flaws.

I wish that I could understand everything and could speak every imaginable language. I wish that I had dreams about flying. I wish that chocolate really could solve everything. I wish that I didn't wince everytime I hear the word "girlfriend". I wish that I had never been ID'd and that I was two and a half months older. I wish I will marry a tall slender dark haired man who will understand me and and not turn out to have a severe homicidal psychosis. Whatever that even means. I wish that I had climbed a mountain and been at the bottom of the ocean. I wish I was an FBI agent and that I was actually any good at drawing.

I wish I had no regrets and that all wishes came true. I wish I knew how to weild a sword and could do archery. I wish swimming pools were larger and that life guards weren't so nasty to you when you were little. I wish people were less fixated on their weight- if everyone was stick thin with big tits it would be attractive to be different. I wish that PE teachers weren't so damn scary. I wish that men didn't sometimes have scary stalkerish tendencies. I wish that it was okay to do whatever the hell you wanted, as long as it didn't involve hurting someone.

I wish there was a TV channel devoted solely to ice cream.

Labels: Poetic licence