Exhaustion
Twenty six days before I leave, twenty four days until I can truly say goodbye to high school, and twenty days until my last exam. Everything is on count down, my body most of all. I’m finding it practically impossible to make the seven o clock wake up that is required if I want to get into my exams on time and unpressured. And getting a reasonable amount of sleep on top of it all just isn’t happening. Today I wrote seventeen pages of chemistry notes, and that’s just for my exam tomorrow. I have another ten exams after that. Putting everything before my scholastic endeavours is catching up, and it’s catching up now.
Caffeine is my saviour; it’s the only thing that keeps me awake through the endless onslaught of redox reactions, nuclear fission, and cereal adaptations. I’m taking it in pills and in strong cups in the morning, and at night when my eyes are starting to flicker. I’m not stressed out. I’m not worried about doing badly because I know that the amount of work that I’m putting in has to get me decent results. I’m just tired.
Procrastination is something I’ve developed into an art. I’m intelligent in that I have a reasonable IQ and can pass exams even without the work, but I’m not clever because I could be getting much better grades, and more sleep if only I had done more work last year. I won’t tell you that were I to go back I would do it all differently. I’d take advantage of the stuff I know now and go out partying. There would be a few relationships that I wouldn’t do over, but the revision? I don’t know, maybe I would. Right now I’m starting to think it might be a good idea. I can only leave the house in a pair of shades because my bags are that huge. I’m starting to look like a vampire. A vampire that isn’t getting enough sleep.
And I need a lap top. I’m going to Germany on the second of July, and I’m not coming back until the start of September. That’s two months without a computer, or any of my friends. And maybe without basic amenities like alcohol, toothpaste and hair serum if I don’t start learning the language sometime soon. But every second of my day I’m either sleeping, panicking that I don’t own concealer due to me never having needed it previously, or learning two years worth of biology, chemistry and physics. I’ve got a lot to learn without a language on top of that. I’ve got five days until I leave after my exams end, is that enough time to learn German? Somehow I doubt it as I did a year of it in year nine and all I can remember is “Ich heisse Harriet.” But then, as I said before, I’ve never been scholastically motivated. Academically motivated maybe, I’m stupidly interested in truly uninteresting things like organic chemistry and biotechnology, but put me into a classroom and even those put me to sleep.
I can always write in notepads. And if nothing else I’ll have plenty of time to learn the language when I’m over there. What else will I do? Looking after toddlers is tiring, but not exactly taxing on the brain. My blog will, unfortunately, suffer. But hey, who even reads this thing? I doubt that I will be missed particularly. All that I’ll miss is a lot of drunkenness, partying, and working at a local pub. Not certain which one yet, but waitressing is just one of those jobs that you can walk into anywhere if you’ve already spent two and a half years doing it, and it’s the holiday season.
I know that the next thing I am going to do is get into bed and lie awake for the next three hours wishing I could sleep, but I’m going to do that anyway because my eyes are tired, I look like Dracula, and I still want to sleep after three cups of coffee. That’s a pretty good sign that it’s time for me to at least try to sleep. Plus, I have three hours of chemistry to look forward to tomorrow, it would be good if I get enough sleep to survive those three hours without falling asleep in the middle of the exam. I'm pretty sure that's something they don't approve of.
Caffeine is my saviour; it’s the only thing that keeps me awake through the endless onslaught of redox reactions, nuclear fission, and cereal adaptations. I’m taking it in pills and in strong cups in the morning, and at night when my eyes are starting to flicker. I’m not stressed out. I’m not worried about doing badly because I know that the amount of work that I’m putting in has to get me decent results. I’m just tired.
Procrastination is something I’ve developed into an art. I’m intelligent in that I have a reasonable IQ and can pass exams even without the work, but I’m not clever because I could be getting much better grades, and more sleep if only I had done more work last year. I won’t tell you that were I to go back I would do it all differently. I’d take advantage of the stuff I know now and go out partying. There would be a few relationships that I wouldn’t do over, but the revision? I don’t know, maybe I would. Right now I’m starting to think it might be a good idea. I can only leave the house in a pair of shades because my bags are that huge. I’m starting to look like a vampire. A vampire that isn’t getting enough sleep.
And I need a lap top. I’m going to Germany on the second of July, and I’m not coming back until the start of September. That’s two months without a computer, or any of my friends. And maybe without basic amenities like alcohol, toothpaste and hair serum if I don’t start learning the language sometime soon. But every second of my day I’m either sleeping, panicking that I don’t own concealer due to me never having needed it previously, or learning two years worth of biology, chemistry and physics. I’ve got a lot to learn without a language on top of that. I’ve got five days until I leave after my exams end, is that enough time to learn German? Somehow I doubt it as I did a year of it in year nine and all I can remember is “Ich heisse Harriet.” But then, as I said before, I’ve never been scholastically motivated. Academically motivated maybe, I’m stupidly interested in truly uninteresting things like organic chemistry and biotechnology, but put me into a classroom and even those put me to sleep.
I can always write in notepads. And if nothing else I’ll have plenty of time to learn the language when I’m over there. What else will I do? Looking after toddlers is tiring, but not exactly taxing on the brain. My blog will, unfortunately, suffer. But hey, who even reads this thing? I doubt that I will be missed particularly. All that I’ll miss is a lot of drunkenness, partying, and working at a local pub. Not certain which one yet, but waitressing is just one of those jobs that you can walk into anywhere if you’ve already spent two and a half years doing it, and it’s the holiday season.
I know that the next thing I am going to do is get into bed and lie awake for the next three hours wishing I could sleep, but I’m going to do that anyway because my eyes are tired, I look like Dracula, and I still want to sleep after three cups of coffee. That’s a pretty good sign that it’s time for me to at least try to sleep. Plus, I have three hours of chemistry to look forward to tomorrow, it would be good if I get enough sleep to survive those three hours without falling asleep in the middle of the exam. I'm pretty sure that's something they don't approve of.
Labels: Academia
