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Monday, September 11, 2006 

Cinderella

I want what every girl wants. I want to be Cinderella. I want to fall deeply in love with prince Charming, and I want him to want me so bad it hurts. It’s the fairytale isn’t it? Charming, attractive, rich, popular, and the idea that he could love you back… it’s so unbelievably seductive.

But why do we want that? Cinderella, yeah brilliant, you get the guy, you get the castle, and you get the happily ever after. Hey, you might even get a nice warm fuzzy feeling that the guy chose you. Like, wow, you’re so special.

The hardcore among you will already know all about my Cinderella complex. Favourite Disney film, fairytale, and all round heroin. When I was eight. When I got older I started to think that I wasn’t quite going to fulfil my goal. I still wanted to so badly, but reality has this way of sort of letting you know when things aren’t quite going to happen.

Thing is, when I look at it now, it seems silly. Why wait for a guy who’s so wonderful to pick you? Did feminism never happen? Why did the suffragettes bother with their hunger strikes? Women may as well have kept their bras and just got on with burning the turkey they were cooking for their husbands and oodles of children. We’re stuck in the dark ages. We go out, have jobs, act like we’re big and hard and totally together, then hit thirty, nab a guy, and wing it as a housewife for the rest of our lives.

And that’s wonderful. We don’t work; we just do what Mother Nature intended: become walking vagina’s that cook, clean, and have the dinner sharp at six o clock when you come in from work. Yeah, there are exceptions. A lot of people can’t afford to do that, and it’s far less expected than before the suffragettes and feminists had their say. But there’s still this overwhelming thing going on with gold diggers and men who expect women to just be machines to do their laundry and look after the kids.

Gold diggers. God. Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking for a rich husband. I don’t want one who does fuck all and lives off the dole. People who work and still don’t earn that much are fine too, I just don’t want someone who doesn’t pull their weight. If they’re rich and do fuck all then hey, they’re out too. Leeches aren’t my thing; whether it’s emotional or financial, I don’t care.

I just don’t want to be Cinderella any more. Falling in love with the most perfect guy is great, but he’s gotta work for me too. I won’t be walked over, and I won’t be downtrodden; it isn’t my thing. I’ve had enough of pining after men, and I’ve more than had enough of finding that whatever I do, I’m just not enough. How can you be more than they need, and so much more than they ask, and still not be enough? It’s simple, you aren’t what they want.

And I need to be wanted. It’s the one part of the fairytale I’ll keep. I need to be wanted more than I want them. I need to be chased, and I need it to not be one of those things where the man chases and once he’s got, sort of thinks, well, hey, this was nice but where’s the chase gone? I need to be chased, and when they get me they need to feel that I’m more than I ever expected.

I guess right now I need too much. But that’s okay too. A while ago the idea of being single was an idea I did not wish to court. Why would I? I was in love with a boy who made me happy on so many different levels, and I was comfortable in the first relationship I’d ever had with anyone that hadn’t been fucked up in some way. And we’re still good. But the relationship part of it faded.

Being single isn’t so hard. It hurt at first; I guess at first it sort of killed me. But after adjusting it’s kind of fun. Even the oompa loompas. Right now it isn’t time for happily ever after; somehow I doubt that even exists for most people. And needing too much isn’t too bad when I’ll settle for less as long as I still enjoy myself and it doesn’t hurt me. But my forever guy won’t be prince Charming; he’ll be more than that. He’ll be a modern, better adjusted, and all round more fantastic prince, and he’ll not only want me, he’ll fight to get me. So needing too much won’t be a problem, because he’ll give that. And then, though it won’t be happily ever after, it’ll be happy.

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You're so right, there's nothing worse than a guy who doesn't pull his weight, who doesn't have passion and ambition... Yes like you I'll rather them rich than poor. But OMG, rich without any real job or drive, sooo annoying!

Don't ever settle for less of anything!

What's the secret of being happy single?

xox

The secret? Having your heart broken, and finally recovering. It's the space between realising you can live without love, and falling in love with someone else. Once you fall in love again you're screwed, and if you can't get over the ex...

xxx

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About me

  • An albatross can fly for thousands of miles without getting tired. I've always thought that love is similar to flying, therefore we should aspire to be like the albatross.

    I don't know if I can do that. So far I haven't been so lucky. But one day I'll test my wings with someone, and flying won't be so hard after all. Or so painful.
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    * In 2001 one New Zealand fishing boat killed over 300 seabirds in just one trip, while fishing for ling.
    * Each year over 300,000 seabirds are killed by longline fishing.
    * Over the past 60 years some albatross populations have declined by 90%.
    * Annually around 10,000 albatross and petrels are caught in New Zealand waters alone.
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